Don't be so quick to judge.

Earlier tonight, someone blasted me because last year I was considering applying for food stamps, since I didn’t have enough money to support myself. She so kindly said the following:

Its people like u that are destroying the moral fabric of this country with ur lazyness and ur entittlement. u wanna get food stamps? u have an iphone, an ipad, and a mac laptop. u wear nice clothes and always have a new dress. i seen u wear gold, diemonds, and pearls all the time. ur nails are done, ur hair is cut all cute by someone at gary alan, n u want to buy a car!! how long u gonna make payments on that car? how many times u gonna be late on it and the taxpayers will have to bail u out? ur always talkin about gaming, that shits expensive too. u live with ur parents! u dont even have ur own place. how the hell u gonna pay ur bills? you need to get ur unemployed ass to school, and get a job. i work hard for the things i have, i dont want my taxpayers dollars going to someone like u who doesn’t work and expects me to pay for their food.

Let’s back up here. First of all, I feel the need to explain something. Yes, I was considering applying for food stamps last year. This was because I was unable to work due to a medical issue and I had no money saved up to live on. If you want to judge me for that, take a look at your bank account and tell me how long you can live off of what you have in savings. If it’s a year or more, while paying all your bills and putting food on the table, then kudos to you, you’re an example to us all.

Okay, let’s take this a line at a time.

Its people like u that are destroying the moral fabric of this country with ur lazyness and ur entittlement.

“Lazyness”? Man…if only I’d been able to spend the past year being lazy. Anyone who knows me well knows the medical, psychological, and emotional hell I’ve been through the past couple of years, and I’m about 90% sure none of them would describe me as “lazy”. Also…Entittlement? You mean, like a boob job? Are my boobs destroying the moral fabric of this country? If so, fantastic. I didn’t get a boob job, though, but I’m flattered you think I did. :)

u have an iphone, an ipad, and a mac laptop. u wear nice clothes and always have a new dress. i seen u wear gold, diamonds, and pearls all the time. ur nails are done, ur hair is cut all cute by someone at gary alan, n u want to buy a car!!

Yes, I will admit openly, people judge me when I say that I consider myself “broke” because all of these things are, in fact, true. I do have an iPhone, an iPad, and a Macbook Pro. I do wear nice-ish clothes and I tend to have new clothing. Yes, I wear jewelry, and my hair and nails are generally taken care of. Yes, the only stylist with which I trust my hair works at Gary Allen, a notoriously expensive salon. Yes, I want to buy a car. But why does any of this mean that I’m wasting money and expecting taxpayers across America to pay for me? I traded the iPhone I bought years ago (that I had stopped using so I could use a cheaper phone) for a new iPhone that works on my network. I bought my iPad on Craigslist for crazy cheap. (I justify the purchase since I use it to teach - every single day. Tax deduction, woo!) My Macbook Pro was a birthday present last year. My nice-ish clothes were all either gifted to me by friends or family, bought at goodwill, or methodically saved up for. My mother, who is kind and generous, buys me new clothes when my old ones start to look ratty. (And I pay it forward by donating.) My jewelry? Most of it is jewelry I’ve had for a very very long time, some were gifts, some are borrowed, and some - like the gold and pearls - are fake. (Who cares if they are? They fooled you, right?) I do my own nails. Yes, I splurge on my hair, so sue me. But I also have an arrangement with my hairdresser, where she gives me discounts in exchange for piano lessons for her daughter. And yes, I want to buy a car. And I’m going to, in the very near future.

how long u gonna make payments on that car? how many times u gonna be late on it and the taxpayers will have to bail u out?

Actually, I’m not going to make payments on that car at all. Because when I buy that car, I can pay for it outright, with cash. Let that take a moment to sink in. I’m buying a good, reliable, relatively new car with CASH. As in, I could conceivably walk into a dealership tomorrow with a briefcase handcuffed to my wrist full of hard-earned dollar bills. Can you say that you can do that? also, wut?

ur always talkin about gaming, that shits expensive too. 

Video gaming is expensive, I suppose. I don’t know, I don’t own an console. The video games I play were either gifted to me through Steam, or games I previously owned. I will admit that I play WoW, which comes with a monthly subscription fee, but seeing as it costs less than going out to eat once a month, I think i can let that slide. Also - usually when I’m talking about “gaming”, i’m talking about tabletop RPGs. Like Dungeons and Dragons. In which case, it’s a bunch of nerds sitting around a table TALKING for hours. To put it into a dialect you might understand, “That don’t cost SHIT.”

u live with ur parents! u dont even have ur own place. how the hell u gonna pay ur bills? you need to get ur unemployed ass to school, and get a job.

Yep. I sure do live with my parents. But guess what. Because I chose to live with my parents instead of try to build a life of my own that I couldn’t afford, I have NO debt (other than student loans), I’ve been able to save up for that car, and I don’t have a credit card bill to pay. Why do you assume I’m an unemployed freeloader just because I had to consider applying for food stamps? When you’re physically unable to work, the bills keep coming regardless of whether you’re sick or not. You still need to eat. Yes, perhaps I was unemployed last year, but I’m employed now. That’s why I said I was considering it *Last Year*. Even now, my grandmother lives with us, and I’m sure the extra food money would *really* come in handy. Unlike you, who I know for a fact quit community college after a year, I went to college for six years. I have decades of job experience, training, and talent in the field in which I work, and because of that, I work two jobs where I generally get paid on average about $40/hour. Full time pay for part time work. I’ve EARNED that. No one handed it to me. I spent decades honing my craft, learning new skills, and gaining experience teaching.

i work hard for the things i have, i dont want my taxpayers dollars going to someone like u who doesn’t work and expects me to pay for their food.

I don’t expect anyone to pay for my food. I am grateful that my parents give me food when I’m hungry. I work very hard for my money as well, and I understand completely the feeling that you don’t want to pay for people on welfare who abuse the system. I get that. Personally, I feel like since I need to pass a drug test to earn the money for them, they should have to pass one to reap the benefits - among other beliefs and stances. However - for every person who is abusing that system, I guarantee you there are at least 3-5 who are there because they desperately need it. Not because they’re stupid, or lazy, or have a sense of “entittlement”. (I’m sorry, it’s just so funny I have to keep saying it.) But because Life happens. And we can’t predict it, nor necessarily adequately prepare for it. I’ve given hot food to homeless people who lost their jobs, homes, and families due to unforeseen and unpreventable circumstances, like illness or a company closing down. Once, I met an ex-surgeon who developed unexplained tremors that destroyed his medical career, and after a while he couldn’t afford the medical bills anymore. He lives under a bridge in DC now.

Don’t be so quick to judge people. I’m doing my best not to judge you by your grammar and spelling, but I guarantee you about 90% of the people who read this will not be so kind. Next time you see someone like me in the grocery store pull out an EBT card to pay for her groceries, perhaps your thought process ought to be more along the lines of “Wow, she must be really thrifty to be able to put herself together like that on such a low budget.” Or if you’re not feeling that generous, limit yourself to simply admiring her bag or shoes, and maybe asking her where she got them. I’ll proudly tell people that the Louis Vuitton purse I (occasionally) carry is a knockoff my aunt bought me for a Christmas present, or that my shoes are from Payless (BOGO!!), or that I found that really cute lace cocktail dress at Goodwill.

I’m not saying there aren’t people out there who abuse the system. I’ve seen single moms who spend their child support money on Coach bags and Jimmy Choos. (No joke. I have.) I’ve seen people on welfare purposely have more kids so they can get money. But my point is - those are exceptional cases. They’re not the norm. And everyone else I’ve seen getting welfare checks, unemployment checks, or using WIC or EBT really needs the help. So don’t lump all of us in with a few bad eggs - you wouldn’t want anyone doing that to you.