Below are some things that i feel define me in some way. all of these things significantly contribute to the kind of person i am, whether negative or positive. some are merely amusing anecdotes, others are deeper and more personal. one of my character defects is a tendency to overshare, and keeping that in mind i have limited some details in this post. that is not to say i am ashamed; i only censor to protect those i love. my life does not only involve me, it involves others, therefore some discretion must be involved.
[UPDATE: Today is April 02, 2014 and I have added some annotations to make this relatively current.]
Every once in a while i get all introspective and sort of try to regroup. this has happened quite often with me these past eight months, since a huge part of my recovery is self-discovery. there are some things about me that will never change. other things will change, or already have changed drastically. i can honestly say that i feel like a completely different person today than i was a year ago. and i’m still learning, and therefore changing, every day. a year ago today i was caught up in a storm from which i could not break free. it tore me up, hurt me, abused me, and ultimately broke me.
the beauty of this, however, was that once i realized i wanted to climb out of that hole, there was nowhere to go but up.
i have been working hard these past eight months to learn who i am — the good, the bad, and the ugly — and to figure out what was safe to keep, what needed to be fixed, and what needed to be thrown away. sort of a spiritual spring cleaning, if you will. as you can imagine, it’s not as easy as throwing out those tacky hand towels that aunt so and so gave you six years ago. instead, it requires that you strengthen parts of your soul and prune others. you begin to admit exactly who you are, and in the process, realize that it’s not all bad like you had feared, and that there is plenty of you to love.
and love yourself, you shall.
