Cristina: the point is, even if a girl doesn’t like you for some reason, she’s not going to tell the entire eligible female community to stay away
Steven: but they meet on every 3rd of the month…
Cristina: *sigh* *smack*
Steven: right about the time they sync their menstrual cycles
Steven: thats true right? don’t ruin my illusion
Cristina: HAHAHA can you imagine that meeting?! “okay, ladies, first we’ll read the minutes from last month’s meeting…we established that Justin Bieber is still the king of pop, and that we REALLY love Joseph Gordon-Levitt. We also added Joseph Porfert and Randy Naylor to the do-not-date blacklist. Lady chairman, if you will.” “Yes, now before we start with new business - ” “LADY CHAIRMAN I HAVE AN EMERGENCY ADDITION TO THE BLACKLIST.” “…yes, miss congresswoman?” “I move that we immediately vote on putting Steven on the blacklist as well, because he was awkward when we talked.” *rabble rabble rabble*
Cristina: …they would totally vote nay. that’s not a valid reason to blacklist you.
Cristina: “miss congresswoman, your reasoning is unsatisfactory. motion denied.”
Steven: THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS, I KNEW IT
Cristina: i mean uh…
Cristina: IF a meeting of such sort WERE to take place
Cristina: >.>
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
I wish I could make this a handout for my kids.
here are the rules of life. read them carefully, because i have learned that they are all true. and i’m sure when i’m even older, i will discover more that i didn’t want to listen to now.
1. life is not fair - get used to it.
2. the world will not care about your self-esteem. the world will expect you to actually accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
3. you will not make $60,000 or even $30,000 a year right out of high school. you won’t be able to support yourself working a single part time job. if you want independence and nice things, you have to work your ass off for it.
4. if you think your teachers and parents are tough, wait til you get a boss (or two or three).
5. when push comes to shove, flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. you’ll learn you have to do whatever it takes to survive, if it’s important enough to you.
6. if you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
7. before you were born, your parents probably weren’t as boring as they are now. they got that way after years of paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you go on about how cool you think you are. remember that they were once teenagers just like you, and the difference is that they are more mature and educated than you. you could stand to learn a thing or two from them.
8. your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. there are some schools that don’t give out failing grades (VB does the E thing instead of F for Failing) and they give you a ton of chances to find the right answer. life doesn’t give a shit about your feelings, and you will fail and no one will even give you a hint that you might be failing. school (even college) does not bear even the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.
9. life is not divided into semesters. you don’t get summers off and there are very few employers who are interested in helping you find yourself. do that on your own time and don’t let it get in the way of your work when your older. to put it bluntly, do that now.
10. TV isn’t real life. i know it sounds obvious, but there are thousands of young adults out there who are shocked that they actually have to do all that random crap like pay HOA dues, find car insurance, go to work every day, etc.
11. be nice to the nerds. befriend them if you can. because chances are, you’ll end up working for them one day.
1. life is not fair - get used to it.
2. the world will not care about your self-esteem. the world will expect you to actually accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
3. you will not make $60,000 or even $30,000 a year right out of high school. you won’t be able to support yourself working a single part time job. if you want independence and nice things, you have to work your ass off for it.
4. if you think your teachers and parents are tough, wait til you get a boss (or two or three).
5. when push comes to shove, flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. you’ll learn you have to do whatever it takes to survive, if it’s important enough to you.
6. if you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
7. before you were born, your parents probably weren’t as boring as they are now. they got that way after years of paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you go on about how cool you think you are. remember that they were once teenagers just like you, and the difference is that they are more mature and educated than you. you could stand to learn a thing or two from them.
8. your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. there are some schools that don’t give out failing grades (VB does the E thing instead of F for Failing) and they give you a ton of chances to find the right answer. life doesn’t give a shit about your feelings, and you will fail and no one will even give you a hint that you might be failing. school (even college) does not bear even the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.
9. life is not divided into semesters. you don’t get summers off and there are very few employers who are interested in helping you find yourself. do that on your own time and don’t let it get in the way of your work when your older. to put it bluntly, do that now.
10. TV isn’t real life. i know it sounds obvious, but there are thousands of young adults out there who are shocked that they actually have to do all that random crap like pay HOA dues, find car insurance, go to work every day, etc.
11. be nice to the nerds. befriend them if you can. because chances are, you’ll end up working for them one day.
Monday, June 18, 2012
"be that self which one truly is." (kierkegaard)
Below are some things that i feel define me in some way. all of these things significantly contribute to the kind of person i am, whether negative or positive. some are merely amusing anecdotes, others are deeper and more personal. one of my character defects is a tendency to overshare, and keeping that in mind i have limited some details in this post. that is not to say i am ashamed; i only censor to protect those i love. my life does not only involve me, it involves others, therefore some discretion must be involved.
[UPDATE: Today is April 02, 2014 and I have added some annotations to make this relatively current.]
Every once in a while i get all introspective and sort of try to regroup. this has happened quite often with me these past eight months, since a huge part of my recovery is self-discovery. there are some things about me that will never change. other things will change, or already have changed drastically. i can honestly say that i feel like a completely different person today than i was a year ago. and i’m still learning, and therefore changing, every day. a year ago today i was caught up in a storm from which i could not break free. it tore me up, hurt me, abused me, and ultimately broke me.
the beauty of this, however, was that once i realized i wanted to climb out of that hole, there was nowhere to go but up.
i have been working hard these past eight months to learn who i am — the good, the bad, and the ugly — and to figure out what was safe to keep, what needed to be fixed, and what needed to be thrown away. sort of a spiritual spring cleaning, if you will. as you can imagine, it’s not as easy as throwing out those tacky hand towels that aunt so and so gave you six years ago. instead, it requires that you strengthen parts of your soul and prune others. you begin to admit exactly who you are, and in the process, realize that it’s not all bad like you had feared, and that there is plenty of you to love.
and love yourself, you shall.
[UPDATE: Today is April 02, 2014 and I have added some annotations to make this relatively current.]
Every once in a while i get all introspective and sort of try to regroup. this has happened quite often with me these past eight months, since a huge part of my recovery is self-discovery. there are some things about me that will never change. other things will change, or already have changed drastically. i can honestly say that i feel like a completely different person today than i was a year ago. and i’m still learning, and therefore changing, every day. a year ago today i was caught up in a storm from which i could not break free. it tore me up, hurt me, abused me, and ultimately broke me.
the beauty of this, however, was that once i realized i wanted to climb out of that hole, there was nowhere to go but up.
i have been working hard these past eight months to learn who i am — the good, the bad, and the ugly — and to figure out what was safe to keep, what needed to be fixed, and what needed to be thrown away. sort of a spiritual spring cleaning, if you will. as you can imagine, it’s not as easy as throwing out those tacky hand towels that aunt so and so gave you six years ago. instead, it requires that you strengthen parts of your soul and prune others. you begin to admit exactly who you are, and in the process, realize that it’s not all bad like you had feared, and that there is plenty of you to love.
and love yourself, you shall.
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