Friday, May 28, 2010

This quote from Yahoo news hurts my soul.

Bavelier said games could be developed that would harness the positive effects of the first-person shooter games without the violence.

“As you know, most of us females just hate those action video games,” she said. “You don’t have to use shooting. You can use, for example, a princess which has a magic wand and whenever she touches something, it turns into a butterfly and sparkles.”


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100528/ap_on_en_ot/us_games_for_learning

Thursday, May 27, 2010

I take things Too Far.

******************* DIVA’S EMAIL *******************

i saw the presidential helicopters yesterday. we were playing at constitution and 15th. it’s pretty cool bc they come in super low (we could read the letters on the side). they all come in together, then one peals off to the side, another keeps going forward, and then the president lands. haha i got a really good hit off when they flew overhead, so i thought ‘i hope someone was looking out the window and was impressed.’

******************* MY RESPONSE *******************

It went just like this:

[SCENE: GMU alumni softball team is playing in DC. A helicopter is seen flying overhead, towards the game. The camera zooms in on the presidential seal and peels off as the helicopter peels away]

Man #1: Come on! Hit it out of the park!

[CAMERA ANGLE 1: closeup on Diva’s eyes. A drop of sweat rolls down her nose. She squints in anticipation.]

[CAMERA ANGLE 2: the pitch comes. We see it in slow motion, heading towards the plate. We hear the THWACK of the bat and the ball goes soaring.]

[CAMERA ANGLE 3: wide lens. Everyone is cheering.]

[cut to HELICOPTER INTERIOR]


Man in Suit: Holy crap, Jenkins, check this out. You shoulda seen the SWING on this girl!

Jenkins: [turns to look, sees softball bounce off helicopter window] Jeeminy! You’re right about that! Check that out!!

Man in Suit: We need to get her in here. We need her on our company softball team.

Jenkins: But sir, we work for the Secret Service. We can’t bring civilians on our team! It would probably be a bad idea.

President Obama: [interrupting] Jenkins, quit being such a pansy. I saw that ball as clearly as I see you. We need her. And if we can’t have a civilian on the team, then we’ll just have to get her a job in the White House, won’t we?

Man in Suit: [nods emphatically]

[The camera closes in on President Obama’s thoughtful face. He can be seen making a note on the pad of paper in his lap. Camera pans out, through the window to the exterior of the helicopter, and pans out further to reveal that it is evening. The helicopter is slowly lowering onto the helipad at the White House. The sun can be seen setting to its left. President Obama emerges, followed by his staff.]


Jenkins: Sir, we should –

Obama: [cutting him off with a terse wave of the hand] Hold that thought, Jenkins, I have more pressing matters at hand.

[cut to OVAL OFFICE INTERIOR]

President Obama: [into phone] I don’t care if you don’t know who she is. She has a HELL of a swing, we need her on our White House Softball Team, and I want YOU to make it happen!!

[cut to JOE BIDEN’S OFFICE]

Vice President Biden: Yes, Sir. Right away, Sir. [hangs up phone.] Well, then. [thoughtfully ponders his task for a beat] Go get her. Bring her here. Give her a job. We need to have her.

Secret Service Agents: YES SIR.

[cut to DIVA’S APARTMENT. It is dark. Diva can be seen making a cup of tea, in her pajamas. It is peaceful. It is quiet. Suddenly bright lights are seen through the balcony doors, and the loud THUMPTHUMPTHUMP of helicopter blades can be heard. Diva starts, and knocks over her cup of tea. CAMERA ANGLE 1 shows a closeup of the mug, dripping tea over the edge of the counter, while in the background we see Diva slowly moving towards the balcony doors, cautiously and curiously. CAMERA ANGLE 2 shows a view from Diva’s apartment door, with a rear view of Diva creeping up to the balcony doors. A loud CRASH is heard, and Diva jumps back as two SWAT team members crash through her balcony doors. Diva screams. They grab her, wrangle her into a harness, and fly off, dangling the SWAT team members and Mel from harnesses, disappearing into the night. CAMERA ANGLE 1 shows the dripping mug once again, the background showing complete wreck and disarray. Tea slowly drips from the lip of the overturned mug.]

[END SCENE]